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Please will you listen hard I've got a little problem in my own back yard You always write to me Expecting all the answers that you want to see
	In the heat of the morning One of the pleasures of mine Is to push all your problems To the back of my mind Well you can pack your bags leave them by the door Hitch them to another star Because I'm never coming back, no
Why don't you realise The blind can't lead the blind without my eyes Oh you just turn the screw It moves a little tighter and I'll turn on you
	repeat chorus
		Try to leave and let me be I'm ready for the catch to share my agony Write a note, explain my vice I'll mail it to myself and seek my own advice
	repeat chorus
	Because I'm never coming back Because I'm never coming back Because I'm never coming back No, no....
© 1990, Music: ARK, Lyrics: Ant Short

The song is about an agony aunt (or uncle in Ant's case), who has problems of their own, and one day decides he's had enough. The idea at the end of writing to themselves to find the answer is great irony.